Wednesday, November 05, 2008

Adoption is the Answer

Forget what I said about Wacky Wednesdays. I'm afraid that the only topic guideline I'll be able to stick to is the Money Management Monday thing. Hope you don't get tired of money management ideas. If so, please say something. I can always write about, oh, say . . . cleaning tips. (Don't use magic erasers on fiberglass tub surrounds or cultured marble. Yes, Linda. This means you.) Or unsolicited advice. I love giving advice.

But today I want to post on a more serious topic -- Adoption. Specifically, check out my friend Rachel's blog. She and her husband want to be parents, but it hasn't happened for them yet. Read about them. Get to know them. And then keep them in mind should you hear of a situation where a baby might be available for adoption.

Adoption isn't an unfamiliar topic for me. I have an older sister who is adopted. Back when I wrote my weekly self-syndicated parenting column (1997 - 2000) I wrote a tribute to my sister's birth mom. I'm posting it below in the hopes that it touches someone to realize what an awesome miracle adoption is.

Nothing Short of a Miracle

On December 6th we welcomed a new little life into our family. When I heard her first startled cries, my heart skipped a beat. “Oh! A baby. I have a baby!” Somehow the recent months of friendly tummy taps and watching my middle expand hadn’t exactly prepared me for this moment.

Even a week later I found myself holding a little bundle wrapped in pink and marveling that she was mine. The little rosebud mouth, the thick brown hair that was a departure from the Hansen norm, the long slender fingers–all belonged to my daughter.

As I rocked little Beans and continued to examine her tiny features, I found myself thinking of my sister . . . Feeling grateful to even have a sister.

Most people are a little puzzled when I tell them that my sister and I are only five months apart. Sometimes I let them noodle over that fact a while before I explain that Sherri is adopted.

Growing up, I thought I knew what it meant to have a sister who was adopted. Basically, instead of bringing baby Sherri home from the hospital, Mom and Dad flew to California and brought her home from there instead. Although the story of how she came to be in our family was different from my own, I didn’t consider it extraordinary.

Having children, however, has altered my perspective. As I held my newborn daughter, awed that she belonged to me, I realized that years ago another mother had also held a tiny daughter–a daughter that would be hers to cherish only momentarily.

What must Sherri’s birth mother have felt, knowing that the infant she had just given life to would soon spend that life cared for by another? Although I will probably never be able to fully answer that question, I do know that sticking to her decision was anything but easy.

When faced with an unplanned pregnancy, a woman may decide to terminate the pregnancy, keep the child and raise it herself, or give the baby up for adoption. Living with any of these options creates challenges. Only one of the choices, however, made it possible for me to have a sister.

I often find myself holding my precious newborn and thinking of Sherri’s birth mother and others like her. Their decision to have a baby and choose adoption is nothing short of a miracle.


Trying to Stay Calm! said...

What is beautiful post! Thanks for sharing :)

Flashlight Girl said...


Suko said...

Beautiful post!
Adoption is a MIRACLE!

Heidi A. said...

Thanks for being so kind to look our for Rachel. She's in our prayers and we know that the Lord is mindful of her.

What beautiful comments you made about adoption! You have such a way of expressing yourself that we feel we know what you're feeling!

And...thanks for the site for glasses. I'm in need and will check it out!

You're wonderful!

Anonymous said...

Since adoption is a miracle and Mormons tend to have large families why not ask each large family to give one of their children to a childless family? Then they too could share in the miracle.There is a family on TV that is now going on 18.Why not encourage that family to help to make another couple happy?

Christie said...

mommal3, your comment strikes me as bitter and tongue-in-cheek. Looking at your user profile, I'd guess you're not supportive of adoption. I don't know you or your story, but I'm guessing you've been hurt. I've met my sister's birth mom. In fact, she and her husband, along with their four sons, have become part of our family too.

Until I sent her a copy of the article I wrote, she'd been made to feel like a "naughty girl" for having a baby out of wedlock. I'm sure she felt a lot of pressure from family members to give the baby up for adoption. She was 15 at the time.

My sister's birth mom eventually married and had four boys. But she couldn't forget the baby girl she'd given up for adoption. She eventually took efforts to find my sister, and we've all benefitted from knowing and loving one another.

Not all teenage pregnancies have a happy ending. But this one did.

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