Friday, April 27, 2012

I'm gaining weight, but it could be worse

The topic for talks at church this past Sunday was dealing with adversity. If I remember correctly, one speaker even said that they'd been asked to talk about "smiling through adversity." That's something that I'm usually pretty good at -- finding the humor in difficult situations. But being a person of size often leaves me anything but smiley.

In fact, when I saw the photos of myself on the zip line in Puerta Vallarta on our recent vacation, I cried myself to sleep. Nothing like lots of straps to emphasize the lumpy midsection of your body. I even went so far as to call my sister-in-law to ask that she please not include any strappy photos of me on the zip line in the book she was creating from the vacation photos. That was a first.

But back to church. As I listened during the talks, I realized that my struggling with my weight is probably going to be a lifetime challenge for me. Funny, but I'd never really thought of applying lessons for dealing with adversity to my weight or body image. But that's exactly what I need to do. And what this blog is all about.

The really learning moment on Sunday came when I was talking with my neighbor, DeeAnn. She has a sister who is struggling with adrenal cancer, a sister that I know too. I asked her how her sister was doing. "Well," she said, "she's gained 17 pounds in the last two week. And it's all tumors."

That put my own weight gain into perspective.

DeeAnn said that the tumor growth is causing her sister's midsection to become misshapen and distorted. She's started chemo in Texas, but it's too soon to know if it will buy her enough time to make it until her son returns from a mission in August.

I think I can smile through my weight gain adversity, but the cancer weight gain has left me in tears.

1 comment:

Jan said...

Wow...that's sad. I keep trying to accept my pudgy self too, and it helps to remember how blessed I am that my rolls are Snickers instead of tumors. I feel bad that you cried yourself to sleep. Pictures are really awful; I feel like I've only had three or four taken in my entire adulthood that I can stand. Thanks for writing this blog. It will be nice to know that I'm not alone (even though I actually am alone).