I'm going to be eating my words. The ones about being fine with being a traditionally built woman. The ones about how I'm not going to diet the rest of my life. Fortunately, words are calorie-free.
Here's the thing -- I just can't give up on trying to lose weight. Not because I want to be thin, but because I want to feel healthier. I've had four knees surgeries on my left knee. Weighing less would benefit my knees. Type II diabetes also runs on both sides of my family. I don't want to get it, and being overweight is one of the causes of type II diabetes. I'd also really like to avoid having to buy clothing in the Women's section again. Most of all, I'd like to keep my heart healthy. I felt guilty somehow being an overweight patient at the cardiologist's office recently. I wanted to hang a sign around my neck that said, "I exercise and try to watch what I eat. I work really hard to look like this!"
So, here's what I'm doing . . . South Beach. I've been doing the Weight Watcher program for more than a month with no significant results. So I'm going back to low-carb living. Permanently.
I have an uncle who has lost 50 pounds by cutting out all sweets, only eating at meal times and exercising for 70 minutes on a tread mill most days. Yes, he's a man, and it seems like men have an easier time of dropping weight. But the most impressive thing about his weight loss is that it's a lifestyle. He fully intends to avoid sweets/sugary foods for the rest of this life. (Once he gets to his weight goal, he plans to cut back a bit on the treadmill time.) He's already been living healthier for 2+ years.
Like my uncle, I've noticed that eating sweets begets eating more sweets or more food. Can I live the rest of my life without any refined carbs or sweets? Maybe not, but I'm sure that I can live without them for at least a few years. Right now I'm doing phase one of the South Beach Diet. I'm eating lean proteins, low-carb vegetables, low-fat dairy, nuts and healthy fats. No fruit or whole-grains just yet, but I'll add them back in after at least two weeks.
That's what I like about the South Beach plan -- it doesn't forever outlaw fruits and whole grains. And once I've reached my goal weight (which isn't "skinny" -- just healthy), I can even indulge in an occasional treat.
Right now the possibility of reaching my goal weight seems remote, if not impossible. Most of the past year has been extremely frustrating in the weight department. I've had many moments when I wanted to give up on ever losing weight. But here's the thing, the moment I give up, weight gain is an inevitability. That's not okay.
Maybe I'll lose weight, or maybe I'll just maintain. But I'm not quitting.