I had fun writing that letter to my mouth that I posted previously. But it didn't seem to make a big difference, other than getting me to think about what motivates my overeating.
I overeat for a lot of reasons, but reading Potatoes, Not Prozac, helped me come to realize that my body is set up to crave carbohydrates and sugar. My doctor also has acknowledged that my genetics have combined to give me a body super sensitive to sugar and carbs. The more I observe my body's response to trying to eat a low-carb diet, the more I've become convinced that I am a sugar addict.
I am struggling to overcome this addiction. And I'm having a hard time keeping my life in balance. When I'm totally focused on what I eat, I neglect doing the things that bring me joy, that bring me fulfillment.
Alcoholics Anonymous encourages recovering addicts to call upon a higher power. I have come to the realization that I need to do that too.
When I read Elder David A. Bednar's talk "Pray Always" from October's General Conference, a light bulb went on. He talked of how the Lord created all things spiritually before they were created temporally. And Elder Bednar said that we could use those same principles in our morning and evening prayers. As I continued to read his words, I came to understand how that might work to help me overcome my overeating tendencies.
As I've knelt to pray the past few mornings, I've asked for help in spiritually creating a day where I don't overeat. Where I eat three meals in gratitude. Meals I savor and enjoy. Meals that utilize the many foods that have been created for our nourishment and pleasure. I also plead for strength to stop eating when I'm full, when I'm satisfied. In my prayers I ask for the Lord's help in creating a day spent in His service.
By implementing Elder Bednar's counsel I've learned important things about the Lord and about myself. For starters, the Lord knows me and cares about how I feel. He is all about life and living, and for Him, the quality of our lives matter.
A big part of my motivation to lose weight and experience better health hinges on my future plans of serving a full-time mission for my church with my husband. That's looking ahead to our retirement years. The Lord is helping me see that good health will not only allow me to serve Him later, but also better serve Him now. When I feel good, I'm happy. And when I'm happy, I'm outgoing and helpful. I reach out to others, including my family, and radiate joy. (When I don't feel well, I don't radiate joy. Sometimes what I radiate is more along the lines of snippy and grumpy.)
I'm hopeful that with the Lord's help I'll get myself together -- mind, body and soul -- and overcome the weakness I have for sugar and carbs. I may never be skinny, but I'll be happy and healthy.
Happy and healthy is enough.