Sunday, October 26, 2008

Lack of support on the homefront . . .

I blew up at my husband on Saturday. I informed him that he's not being very supportive of my lower-carb lifestyle. You may not want to finishing reading this post because it's pretty much a rant on trying to get a little more support here on the homefront.

First of all, let me just say that I'm not a shrinking violet. I'm very good a voicing my needs -- usually in a way that's calm and polite. But I've had it! Earlier in the week my husband infromed that he's tired of having meat with meals. Really? That's nice. Because I'm tired of making meals.

I guess that part of the problem here at home is that I'm here at home. I'm an at-home mom, and making dinner falls under my responsibilities. When I suggested that he help out more with meals, he brought up the fact that he works, and that we'd have to change our meal time. That would have been fine, but what his body language and expression really said was, "I'm the worker. You're the cook. You're home all day. You should cook the meals."

I've told my husband that it's really hard to make foods that aren't healthy for me to eat. I have a hard time resisting cookies, cakes, breads, etc. that I've made myself. He hasn't offerend any solutions. But he did say that he wanted to have meals with more bread.

Yesterday, after my blow-up, he even said that he doesn't think that my diet is supported by the Word of Wisdom. I was livid! First of all, I was ticked off because he has taken zero interest in trying to find out more about my health issues. A few days ago when I was gushing about how great I've been feeling, he rained on my parade. He pointed out that in the past I'd get excited about a health diagnosis or lifestyle change and then after a few months be right back to feeling crappy again. At the time I just shrugged off his pessimism. I told him that I thought I'd found the root cause of so much of my health problems -- fluctuating blood sugar levels and hormone variations caused by sugar/carbohydrate consumption. And because I'd found the root of the problems and had been seeing such great results, I was optimistic that my health could be permanently improved.

But my husband isn't on the same page. If he were, he'd have read my post on the study I made of the Word of Wisdom and how it relates to my diet. But no. He hasn't read ANYTHING that pertains to low-carb living. I've discussed some premises of the books I've been reading with him, explained how I feel so much better when I eat fewer carbohydrates, but he has not taken the initiative to read any of the books or articles himself. (Note: I did print off three past posts from this blog which I gave to him. If he reads them he'll have a better idea where I'm coming from.)

The emotions I'm feeling the most are anger and hurt. My husband's lack of interest in learning more about low-carb eating makes me feel like he doesn't care about my health. Like I'm on my own. His comments about being tired of eating meat with meals make me feel unappreciated. I'm especially hurt that he'd poll the kids and get their support to back-up his reduced meat at meals position.

I'm sure that we'll get past this rough spot in the road, but it's going to take a while. (You know how long road repairs can take.)

10 comments:

MizFit said...

you will get past it but I HAVE SO BEEN THERE and, for me, it had nothing to do with me (I only 'got' this years later).
Mine felt he should be doing what I was doing, wasnt ready and was quite unconsciously pissed off :)

until he wasnt.

this will pass---and I DO GET HOW YOU FEEL!

Miz.

Cathy - wheresmydamnanswer said...

I totally get where you are at... Do not give up you are doing great and he will get it...

Flashlight Girl said...

Isn't marriage great! Seriously, just keep going. Besides, you kind ever-so-kindly point out to hubby that he doesn't have to eat the meat. It's his choice. Maybe you need to institute a weekly "night out/off". He can take you to dinner. You can order something that works for you, and he can have the huge platter of pasta with bread and dessert. Besides, then you get a DATE! Just a suggestion. :)

Suko said...

It's disheartening when you expect your husband to be supportive--but he isn't. He must not realize how important this is to you. Keep your resolve and do not let this get you down too much. Thankfully you have many supportive friends!

Christie said...

Aaaah. You guys are great! Thanks for your own words of wisdom to hang in there. I really appreciate all the encouragement and support. Thank goodness for blogging buddies!

nmburleson said...

Hang in there. It's hard when you don't have the support of your spouse! I hope that things get better for you soon!

Roni said...

Oh my what the heck is with husbands this weekend! Hang in there, cool down and try to talk to him again.

Sometimes I get the best support (and my point across) when I write letters. This way I get all my feelings out without being interrupted. :~)

Kimberly said...

Hang in there Christie! YOU are responsible for your health and body. I have definately been in your shoes:) My husband insisted we go out for pizza the other night and I nearly cried. Following the Spec. Carb. diet and pizza do NOT mix! I took my food with me and told him when we came out that I would not do that again because it was pure torture! Thankfully, he has finally agreed to eat pretty much whatever I'm eating, but that is after me being gluten free and feeling very alone for over two years! I say--keep doing what you're doing and maybe give the rest of the family a little extra carbs:)

Christie said...

Kimberly, good advice. I'm way impressed that you were gluten-free for over two years before your hubby decided to eat what you eat. Whoa!

Crazylady said...

Oh I have similar trouble with my hubby. He can be quite supportive in ways but I think deep down it's just humouring me. Other times I get a rant about there's no scientific proof to back up what your doing and just because one doctor said to try something doesn't make them right and so on. I know he has a point but it's not like he's doing any in-depth study of these things himself. It's hard work sometimes, very hard work.