Hubby and I had a long talk about how he's feeling, and how I've been feeling. During the course of our talk the problem became clear to me. We're like oil and water. Our personalities are poles apart, but because we have similar goals and values, we have a stable marriage. It's just that sometimes our oil/water personalities clash. That's when we have to give things a good shake, add a little vinegar and spices and create a great vinegrette!
So here's the thing. I am an action-oriented, try-it kind of person. And my husband is a cautious kind of guy who likes to take things slowly, do his homework, not rock the boat. Yesterday he mentioned feeling anxious/fearful that I'll take my new way of eating (low-carb) to an extreme. Boy did that sound familiar.
Whenever I'm changing things up a bit and trying something new, hubby's knee-jerk response is to feel anxious or fearful. We've gone through this before as it relates to spending money and pursuing business possibilities. He'll watch and wait, anxiety building, until he has to say something. At that point his "whoa!" communications make me feel like he's not being supportive and doesn't understand me.
I'm a responsible kind of gal who has never even carried a balance on our credit card, but in past "whoa" run-ins, Hubby has been been fearful that I'll spend us into bankruptcy. This eating/lifestyle conflict feels just like our past money/budget conflicts.
I need to remember the advice of the counselor I saw a few years ago. He said, "Don't take it personally." Which flummoxed me. As a wife, how do I not take my husband's actions personally? The answer: "Your husband would feel like this, respond like this no matter who he had married. It's not about you. Don't take it personally."
Of course that advice is easier said than followed, but I'm going to use this post as a reminder not to take my hubby's "whoa" responses too personally. That's just him. He's quirky. I'm quirky. And we love each other!
New Daily Feature: My Low-Carb Food Menu
October 27, 2008
Note: numbers in (parantheses) indicate net carbs
2 slices of bacon (0)
10 pistacios (1)
1/2 c. low-fat cottage cheese (5)
8 oz. non-fat yogurt sweetened with sucralose & acesulfame (15)
salad greens (4)
veggies (corn, beans, carrots) (6)
1/2 c. pineapple (9)
1 c. frozen raspberries (6)
1/2 c. half and half(4)
Splenda packet (0)
chicken/vegetable soup (9)
2 Tbsp.(scant)nat. peanut butter (5)
2 celery sticks (2)
small piece of son's b-day cake (25)
1/2 c. ice cream (18)
Day's Total of Net Carbs: 112