How to be in Two Places at Once (chicken e-mail)

Dear Pearl,

I’m sorry to get your hopes up with that subject line, but there really is no possible way to be in two places at once. You’ll just have to chose between tonight’s multitudinous options. You can:

1. Take Landon to Dr. Seuss night at the elementary school.

2. Play in the church basketball game for hens. (By the way, you got your feathers ruffled a bit last time. Maybe this would be a good one to skip tonight.)

3. Attend the informative and important talk for parents sponsored by the PTA (poultry teacher association) and health department -- “Sex has a price tag.” I’ll understand if you can’t make it to this evening that I’ve spent months and months organizing and fretting over, but if there really were a contraption to make it possible to be in two places at once, the talk is a don’t-miss kind of thing. I mean, your little brood faces all sorts of things in the intimacy department that we were sheltered from. Those little chicks will be hens and roosters before you know it.

Oh, speaking of the talk, thanks for letting me know that the word is getting out. After I heard that the presiding rooster of a regional church meeting announced it over the pulpit I crowed for joy! We might actually have more than 30 parents there tonight! Whew!

(Note: Bug wondered if the religious rooster mentioned the actual title of the talk– “Sex has a price tag.” He asked, “Do you think he said the ‘S’ word?” Beans was shocked, “You mean he said the word that starts with “sh” in a church meeting?! We assured her that the word she was thinking of surely was NOT said in church. Wish I knew about the word from the title. I can just imagine how that would go over. Giggle.)

In other news, there is no other news. I am finally getting things cleaned up around the coop now that I’m getting adjusted to having a puppy here at the farm. She’s a handful! If she goes wee-wee in the coop one more time I think I’ll spit. (By the way, that’s the first time I’ve ever pecked out “wee-wee” on the computer. It made me giggle. There, I did it again.)

Good luck with tonight’s busy schedule. Too bad your husband has interviews scheduled at the church. It really must be challenging to be the bishop’s wife. Pearl, you’re a saint!

Scratch with you later, Queenie